


A RP in which Terezi ends her Kismesitude and starts a matespriteship

by tomcollins



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Hate, RP, Random - Freeform, chat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-21
Updated: 2013-06-21
Packaged: 2017-12-15 16:37:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/851679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomcollins/pseuds/tomcollins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A copy of a rp from msparp.com that I did, edited so it makes sense</p>
            </blockquote>





	A RP in which Terezi ends her Kismesitude and starts a matespriteship

**Author's Note:**

> where it says "such and such" changed into "such and such" it's just the RP partner changing from Dave to Gamzee

gallowsCalibrator [GC] joined chat.  
Overdosed on Sopor Gamzee Makara [TC] joined chat.  
TC: WoAh mOtHeR FuCk  
TC: WhY ArE ThErE LiKe  
TC: 25 oF YoU  
GC: G4MZ33 YOU W3R3 SUPPOS3D TO M33T M3 H3R3 3 HOURS 4GO!  
TC: WoAh fUcK I WaS  
TC: I AtE So mUcH SoPoR  
GC: ... TH4T STUFF 1SN'T GOOD FOR YOU G4MZ33  
TC: SiNcE WhEn iN ThE MoThEr fUcK WeRe yOu mY LuSuS  
GC: S1NC3 YOUR LUSUS D13D.  
TC: ArE YoU A WoOfBeAsT ThEn  
GC: NO.  
TC: CaUsE YoUrE BeInG A BiTcH  
GC: G4MZ33! LOOK 1'M SORRY 1F 1'M 4NGRY BUT YOU 4B4NDON3D M3  
TC: I ThOuGhT We wErE BlAcK  
GC: Y34H W3 4R3.  
TC: ThEn wHy iN ThE MoThEr fUcK ArE YoU SuRpRiSeD  
GC: ... 1 DON'T KNOW. YOU'R3 4LW4YS T3LL1NG M3 1'M STUP1D  
TC: DaMn sTrAiGhT SiS  
TC: I BrOuGhT YoU SoMe mOtHeR FuCkInG FaYgO  
GC: 1 DON'T W4NT 1T... 1T DO3S B4D TH1NGS...  
TC: I WeNt tHrOuGh aLl tHaT ShIt tO BrInG YoU ThIs fAyGo  
TC: AnD YoUrE GoNnA TeLl mE No  
GC: OK 1'LL DR1NK 1T! PL34S3 DON'T HURT M3!  
TC: SiNcE WhEn iN ThE MoThEr fUcK DiD I SaY I WaS GoNnA HuRt yOu  
GC: 1 DON'T KNOW... YOU'R3 JUST SC4RY...  
TC: CaUsE I Am a hIgHbLoOd i aM SuDdEnLy aBuSiVe  
GC: NO! PL34S3... JUST...  
TC: *hAnDs hEr tHe fAyGo* I AiNt gOnNa hUrT YoU SiS  
GC: TH4NK YOU! *S1TS DOWN 4ND OP3NS 1T UP* 1 L1K3 TH4T F1ZZ SOUND...  
TC: GoOd  
TC: MaDe sUrE To gRaB ReDpOp fOr yOu  
TC: YoUrE MoThErFuCkInG WeLcOmE  
GC: H3H3 W3LL TH3 T4ST3 OF TH3 DR1NK OV3RPOW3RS TH3 R3D... *T4K3S 4 S1P FROM TH3 BOTTL3*  
TC: ThAt mUsT SuCk fOr yOu  
GC: *3Y3S W1D3N* 1 DON'T C4R3 THOUGH... TH4NK YOU!  
TC: YoUrE WeLcOmE  
GC: *CHUGGS TH3 R3ST OF TH3 BOTTL3 DOWN 4ND G4SPS*  
TC: ThE TrAsH CaN Is tO YoUr lEfT  
GC: *G3TS UP 4ND SHUFFL3S OV3R TO TH3 TR4SH C4N QU1CKLY DUMP1NG TH3 BOTTL3 1 TH3N TURN1NG TO F4C3 G4MZ33*  
TC: GoOd jOb tHrOwInG ThAt sHiT AwAy, FiGuRe iTd bE HaRd fOr yOu  
GC: WHY D1D YOU TH1NK TH4T?  
TC: CaUsE, iTs hArD To uP AnD SeE SoMeThInG LiKe a tRaShCaN, iF YoUrE BlInD  
GC: >:[ YOU'R3 SO M34N. YOU KNOW 1 C4N G3T 4ROUND F1N3, 1 H4V3 OTH3R S3NS3S YOU KNOW!  
TC: I DiDnT WaNt yOu tO Be uP AnD LiCkInG It tOo  
TC: I AiNt a mOtHeR FuCkEr wHo wAnTs hIs fAcE LiCkEd bY ThE SaMe tRoLl tHaT LiCkEd tHe wAsTe bUcKeT  
GC: >:[ W3LL 1'M SORRY 1F TH4T'S ON3 1F MY ONLY W4YS TO KNOW WH3R3 3V3RYTH1NG 1S  
TC: GoOd, YoU ShOuLd bE  
GC: 1 W4S B31NG S4RC4ST1C!  
TC: Oh i gUeSs i dIdNt sEe tHaT  
TC: LoOkS LiKe wErE BoTh bLiNd tO SoMeThInG  
GC: DON'T JOK3 4BOUT TH4T! >:[  
TC: NoW YoUrE StArTiNg tO SoUnD LiKe kArBrO  
TC: MaYbE YoU ShOuLd kEeP ThAt uP  
TC: ItD Be hElLa mOrE FuN  
TC: MaYbE YoU CaN SeE LiKe hE CaN ToO If yOu dO It lOnG EnOuGh  
TC: MoThEr fUcK, mAyBe dAvE WiLl eVeN LiKe hAnGiNg oUt wItH YoU AgAiN  
GC: FUCK YOU G4MZ33! YOU'R3 4N 4SSHOL3! *W4LKS FORW4RDS 4ND SHOV3S G4MZ33S SHOULD3R*  
TC: TrUtH HuRt tOo mUcH SiS?  
GC: 1T'S NOT TRU3! 1T'S 4LL L13S! YOU'R3 4 L14R! 1 H4T3 YOU!  
TC: WhAt aRe yOu gOnNa uP AnD Do aBoUt iT SiS?  
TC: ArE YoU GoNnA LeGiSlAtErAtE Me wItH YoUr bLiNd jUsTiCe  
TC: "sEe" WhAt i dId tHeRe?  
GC: 1 DON'T KNOW! *COL4PS3S TO KN33S* JUST STOP 1T STOP 1T STOP 1T! *SCR34MS*  
TC: WhAtEvEr sIs, I Am hEaDiNg oUt, SeE YoU LaTeR. bUt i gUeSs yOu wOnT Be sEeInG Me  
Overdosed on Sopor Gamzee Makara [TC] is now turntechGodhead [TG].  
TG: *walks in* oh hey terezi  
TG: oh shit! you ok?  
GC: *CRY1NG* JUST T4K3 1T 4W4Y. T4K3 1T 4W4Y PL34S3  
TG: take what away  
GC: *F4LLS ONTO S1D3* T4K3 1T 4W4Y T4K3 1T 4W4Y T4K3 1T 4W4Y *SOBB1NG*  
TG: *lays down next to her and wipes away her tears* terezi, whats going on  
GC: H3'S JUST SO M34N... *SOB* 1T N3V3R STOPS...  
TG: what gamzee?  
TG: that guy is an ass  
GC: *W41LS* H3... H3... H3 S41D... TH4T... YOU DON'T L1K3 M3 D4V3... H3 S41D YOU'D ONLY L1K3... L1K3 M3 1F 1 COULD S33...  
TG: what?  
TG: no seriously what in the fuck  
TG: when have i ever had an issue with you being blind  
TG: hell you could be blind deaf and mute and i wouldnt care  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] disconnected.  
TG: the only reason we broke up was cause i couldnt handle you being with gamzee  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] joined chat.  
GC: 1 DON'T W4NT TO B3 W1TH H1M... 1'M JUST SC4R3D... SC4R3D OF WH4T H3 M1GHT DO... 4ND SC4R3D 1 M1GHT NOT W4NT TO L34V3  
TG: woah what  
TG: i didnt think youd be scared of anyone  
TG: you always seemed more confident than that  
GC: BUT TH1S 1S G4MZ33... H3 M4K3S YOU SC4R3D...  
TG: well not me  
TG: dude seems hella incompetent  
TG: have you seen his motherfucking codpiece  
TG: i cant take a guy seriously when i see hes wearing a codpiece  
TG: but you shouldnt be scared of him  
GC: H3H3 *SN1F* Y34H... BUT H4V3 YOU NOT S33N WH4T H3'S DON3? H3 K1LL3D MY FR13NDS... W3LL SOM3 OF TH3M  
TG: yeah, but wasnt that cause i pissed him off  
TG: cause of heresy or whatever  
TG: i dont think hes as fueled up now as he was then  
TG: but hell i dont know i never met the guy  
TG: i may have seen him like once  
TG: shifting around in the vents  
GC: 1 DONT KNOW... BUT H3S H3 COLL3CT1NG BODY P4RTS... HO4RD1NG TH3M...  
TG: fuck seriously?  
GC: Y34H... 4LL MY D34D FR13NDS... H3'S GOT TH3M SOM3WH3R3  
TG: *picks her off the floor and hugs her*  
TG: look terezi  
TG: i aint gonna try to understand troll romance  
TG: and quadrants or whatever  
TG: but im pretty sure troll dr. phil wouldnt agree with having a relationship based on fear  
GC: *SN1FF* 1 DON'T KNOW WHO TH4T 1S... BUT 1 C4N'T G3T OUT D4V3  
TG: yeah you can terezi  
TG: ill back you up  
GC: H3 M1GHT HURT M3 D4V3... 4ND YOU...  
TG: i can kick the shit out of a clown if i got tp  
TG: *to  
TG: i wont let him hurt you  
GC: *SN1FF* TH4NK YOU D4V3... 1... 1'LL TRY TO G3T OUT OF TH1S  
TG: if you do  
TG: we can be a thing again or whatever  
GC: D4V3? W3 C4N? >:,] TH4T WOULD B3 GOOD... BUT F1RST 1'V3 GOT TO SORT MYS3LF OUT  
TG: well you gotta do your thing  
TG: i respect that  
TG: but let me know if you need anything  
TG: ok?  
GC: OK, TH4NK YOU SO MUCH D4V3  
TG: its nothing terezi  
TG: *hugs her*  
GC: *HUGS B4CK* 1F 1T H3LPS M3 BR34K FR33 TH3M 1T D3F1N1T3LY 1S SOM3TH1NG  
TG: you could always break free yourself  
TG: but i am here to help too  
TG: unironically  
GC: >:] W3LL TH4T'S B3TT3R TH4N 1RON1C4LLY  
TG: i guess  
TG: still gotta love the irony though  
TG: shits every where  
TG: its like fucking poetry  
GC: H3H3 D4V3, YOU'R3 S3NS3 OF HUMOR 1S BR1LL14NT >;]  
TG: damn straight  
GC: 1 SUPPOS3 1 SHOULD TRY 4ND F1ND G4MZ33 NOW... 1'M GO1NG TO BR34K 1T OFF *1NH4L3S*  
TG: okay good luck terezi  
TG: yell if you need me  
TG: ok?  
GC: 1 W1LL! *G3TS UP 4ND W4LKS OUT*  
turntechGodhead [TG] is now terminallyCapricious [TC].  
TC: *iS SlAmMiNg a fAyGo*  
GC: G4MZ33?  
TC: WhAt dO YoU WaNt sIs?  
GC: W3 C4N'T B3 BL4CK 4NYMOR3.  
TC: WaIt wHaT  
TC: WhAt iN ThE MoThEr fUcK ArE YoU TaLkInG AbOuT  
GC: 1 C4N'T DO TH1S.  
TC: DiD I NoT InSuLt yOu eNoUgH?  
TC: I WaS DoInG My bEsT SiS  
GC: NO 1T'S B33N TOO MUCH...  
TC: Oh  
TC: Im sOrRy sIs  
TC: :o(  
GC: PL34S3 DON'T B3 S4D. 1 JUST DON'T W4NT TO B3 1N 4N 4BUS1V3 S1TU4T1ON 4NYMOR3  
TC: OkAy sIs  
TC: I GuEsS I CaN Up aNd uNdErStAnD  
TC: SoRrY I WaSnT A BeTtEr kIsMeSiS  
GC: 1T'S NOT TH4T YOU W3R3N'T GOOD 3NOUGH... 1 JUST TH1NK 1'M NOT SU1T3D TO K1SSM3S1TUD3...  
TC: I DoNt tHiNk iTs aLl yOuR FaUlT  
TC: I GuEsS WhEn yOu mEeT SoMeOnE YoU HaTe  
TC: YoU CaNt hElP BuT To iNsUlT Em aLl tHe tImE  
GC: TH4NK YOU G4MZ33 *TU3NS 4ROUND 4ND B3G1NS TO W4LK OFF*  
TC: SeE YoU ArOuNd sIs  
TC: SoRrY I WaSnT A BeTtEr kIsMeSiS  
terminallyCapricious [TC] is now turntechGodhead [TG].  
TG: *chilling out messing with chalk*  
GC: *W4LKS B4CK 1NTO ROOM*  
TG: oh hey terezi  
TG: how did it go  
TG: do i have to waste a clown  
GC: TH4T W4SN'T 4S H4RD 4S 1 THOUGHT... 1 DON'T TH1NK YOU DO  
TG: good  
TG: dont think this meteor needs anymore murder  
TG: i think its murdered out  
GC: Y34H...  
TG: *gets up and hugs her tight*  
GC: *HUGS B4CK* G4MZ33 S33M3D SORT4... S4D?  
TG: i aint that surprised to be honest  
GC: OH?  
TG: losing a troll girl as cute as you?  
TG: i would be sad too  
TG: in fact i was pretty torn up about it  
TG: like a little baby crying for milk  
TG: like "wah wah terezi i need some of that troll milk"  
GC: *BLUSH3S* R34LLY? TH4T'S... 4CTU4LLY K1ND4 GROSS W1TH TH3 TROLL M1LK TH1NG  
TG: what can i say  
TG: the heart wants what the heart wants  
TG: and the heart wants troll milk  
TG: and apple juice  
GC: 4R3 YOU SUR3 1T'S TH3 H34RT 4ND NOT TH3 D1STURB1NG HUM4N T33N BR41N?  
TG: both i guess  
TG: dont know its hard to tell  
GC: H3H3  
TG: its dirk thats the heart player  
TG: i am the knight of time  
TG: and with the whole figuring out  
TG: aint no body got no time for that  
GC: W3LL 1 TH1NK 1T T1M3 W3 S1T B4CK DOWN  
TG: alright *sits down*  
GC: *S1TS DOWN N3XT TO D4V3*  
TG: *puts arm around terezi*  
GC: *L34NS H34D 1NTO D4V3S CH3ST*  
TG: i wasnt lying when i said i was torn up about it you know  
TG: that wasnt me being ironic in the least  
GC: 1 D1DN'T W4NT TO 3ND US 31TH3R...  
TG: i felt bad about it  
TG: like i know you trolls got your own things  
TG: i just couldnt play along with it  
GC: WHY D1D YOU F33L B4D THOUGH? 1T W4S MY D4MN K1SSM1S3TUD3 W1TH G4MZ33 TH4T D1D 1T  
TG: yeah but i felt like i wasnt being sensitive to the whole troll romance thing  
TG: like how many times have you looked at beds like "what the fuck?"  
TG: i felt like i was kinda making a big cultural snafu or whatever  
GC: S3V3R4L... THOS3 TH1NGS 4R3 JUST W13RD  
GC: BUT Y34H, 1 UND3RST4ND  
TG: but it wasnt easy  
TG: i thought about it a lot  
TG: but it hurt a hella bunch too  
TG: leaving you i mean  
gallowsCalibrator's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] joined chat.  
GC: 1T HURT M3 TOO  
TG: im sorry terezi *tears hidden behind his shades*  
GC: 1T'S OK, W3 C4N ST4RT 4G41N R1GHT? *SL1PS 4 F1NG3R UP UND3R D4V3'S SH4D3S 4ND W1P3S 4W4Y T34RS*  
TG: yeah  
TG: i think thatd be hella awesome  
GC: *SM1L3S* YOU M4K3 NO S3NS3 H3H3  
TG: as long as were matesprites or whatever  
TG: i dont think it needs to  
GC: Y34H... 4ND YOU GOT TH4T R1GHT... M4T3SP1RT3S >;]  
TG: i can never remember the names  
TG: way to weird of names  
GC: W3LL WH4T DO YOU C4LL TH3M?  
TG: i dont know  
TG: something like "one black thing with hate and shit"  
GC: 3X4CTLY  
TG: or "one where were just god damn friends  
TG: "  
GC: STUP1D, 34S13R TO C4LM TH3M WH4T TH3Y 4R3 >:]  
TG: if you say so  
TG: i still like my names better  
GC: WH4T WOULD B3 YOUR N4M3 FOR 4UT1SP1C3S?  
TG: "the one where the one dude is fucking dr phil"  
GC: H3H3H3H3!!! OH J3GUS TH4T 1S FUNNY!  
GC: 1 THOUGHT YOU WOD H4V3 S41D "THR33 W4Y" OR SOM3TH1NG  
TG: oh even better  
TG: "three way with dr phil"  
GC: *CLUTCH3S CH3ST W1TH L4UGHT3R" OH MY GOG! H4H4H4  
TG: thatd make for some awkward sex  
TG: itd be like "you know that youre just over compensating for a lack of having a father" or some shit  
GC: >:O D4V3 TH4T'S N4STY! DON'T T3LL M3 YOUR 4CTU4LLY 1M4G1N1NG TH1S  
TG: oh already did  
TG: thinking about making a SBAHJ of it too  
GC: D4V3! OH M4N TH4T 1S V3RY N4STY...  
TG: maybe i can add geromee to that shit  
TG: make it a gray four way  
GC: >:O TH4T'S B4D... D4V3 YOU C4N'T 4CTU4LLY DR4W N4K3D P3OPL3  
TG: dont see why not  
GC: TH4T'S GROSS!  
TG: come on  
TG: you know its a good idea  
GC: B3S1D3S YOU DON'T 3V3N KNOW WH4T N4K3D TROLLS LOOK L1K3  
TG: i can give it a shot  
TG: you can let me know if i fucked up  
GC: 1'D L1K3 TO S33 YOU 3V3N TRY  
TG: ill just draw some tentacles  
TG: makes sense to me  
GC: SOM3? OMG D4V3  
TG: what do you guys have twenty  
TG: or just ten  
GC: NO!J3GUS D4V3 ONLY ON3! >:O  
TG: come on im doing this for science's sake  
TG: thats good to know  
GC: D4V3 WHY DO3S TH1S TROLL H4V3 SUCH 4 BULB 4S 4SS?  
GC: *BULBUS  
TG: because i am not a liar  
GC: D4V3  
GC: D4V3  
GC: NO CR34TUR3S 4SS 1S TH4T B1G  
TG: terezi  
TG: youve never lived in america  
GC: 1'V3 N3V3R L1V3D ON 34RTH.  
TG: exactly  
TG: ive seen asses so huge you wouldnt believe  
TG: like the size of the green sun  
TG: had their own gravitational hole  
TG: pulling me in  
GC: >:O TH4T B1G?  
TG: yes  
TG: so big you couldnt stop staring  
GC: WHO4... W3LL CONT1NU3 W1TH TH1S 4TROC1OUS DR4W1NG  
TG: already on it *keeps drawing like a boss*  
GC: *FROWNS* TH1S 1S B4D  
TG: oh come on  
TG: its amazing and you know it  
GC: TH1S 1S SO B4D TH4T 1T 1S ONLY BORD3RL1N3 PORNOGR4PH1C  
TG: woah woah woah  
TG: borderline?  
GC: Y3S... YOU C4N'T 3V3N R34LLY T3LL TH4T 1T'S 4 NUD3 TROLL, WH4T 3V3N 1S TH4T?  
TG: an alternate timeline you?  
GC: YOU DR3W 4 F4C3 ON TH3 3ND 1F TH3 BON3 BULG3  
GC: TH4T'S HORR1BL3  
TG: i thought itd look ironic  
GC: NO... YOU JUST C4N'T 4DM1T TH4T'S WH4T YOU TH1NK TROLLS LOOK L1K3  
TG: hey i am going off of what karkat told me  
GC: K4RK4T 1S FULL OF 1T..  
TG: i dont know  
TG: i wasnt listening to him  
TG: but i liked the cut of his jib  
GC: ... JOB?  
GC: *J1B  
TG: never mind  
TG: i am just going off of what i might of heard  
GC: 4NYW4Y... COULD YOU PL34S3 G3T R1D OF TH1S 1'M ST4RT1NG TO F33L UNCOMFORT4BL3 *BLUSH3S*  
TG: ok fine  
TG: its like youve never seen smut before  
TG: *erases drawing*  
GC: 1 H4V3N'T...  
TG: damn  
TG: i have seen it every god damn day in my life  
GC: 3V3RY D4Y? WH3R3 DO YOU S33 1T?  
TG: i lived in a pile of smuppet ass  
TG: think about it  
GC: OH...F41R 3NOUGH.. BUT FOR M3 TO F1ND 1T 1 WOULD H4V3 TO GO LOOK1NG FOR 1T, 4ND 1 WOULDN'T DO TH4T  
TG: alternian internet that bad huh  
GC: WH4T? SO 1T JUST POPS UP OUT OF NOWH3R3 FOR YOU?  
TG: like a fucking boogeyman with a dick for a nose and a huge plush ass  
GC: WOW... TH4T MUST B3 4W3FUL!  
TG: it was hella scaring  
GC: WHO4 >:O  
TG: what  
GC: N3V3R M1ND...  
TG: hey im just saying  
TG: when you got plush bulbous rump in your face 24/7  
TG: it changes a man  
GC: 1 SUPPOS3 1T WOULD... 1'M 1NNOC3NT COMP4R3D TO YOU!  
TG: damn straight  
TG: youre like a troll mother teresa  
TG: mean while im the oj of the group  
TG: everyone knows i fucked that mind up  
TG: with my perversion and what not  
TG: but i never go on trial  
GC: WH4T? H3H3 "T3R3S4" "T3R3Z1"  
TG: oh shit  
TG: never noticed that  
GC: 1 ONLY JUST NOT1C3D 1T "OJ"  
TG: careful  
TG: i may taint you know  
TG: twist you up and shit  
TG: turn you into a mini me  
TG: ironic shades and all  
GC: 1 WOULDN'T M1ND TH4T TOO MUCH >;]  
TG: naw, just stay the way you are now  
GC: H3H3 OK!  
TG: dont think paradox space can handle two alpha cool kids  
GC: Y34H, TOO B4D, YOU C4N'T 3V3R B3 4 COOL K1D :]  
TG: damn theres a burn  
TG: i think i need some ice on that  
TG: run it under some cold water  
TG: get some neosporin so it doesnt get infected  
GC: OH! 1 C4N GO G3T YOU SOM3! 1'M SO SORRY! >:O  
TG: yeah i may need some of that righteous frozen water  
GC: WH3R3 1S 1T *G3TS UP 4ND SN1FFS 4ROUND FR4NT1C4LLY*  
TG: terezi i am joking here  
GC: OH...  
GC: *S1TS B4CK DOWN*  
TG: hahahahahahahaa shit terezi  
TG: you gotta calm down  
TG: its all good  
GC: *FROWNS  
TG: *hugs her* hey dont frown  
GC: TH4T W4S S1LLY... *POK3S D4V3S CH33K*  
TG: maybe we need to call the silly police  
GC: H4V3N'T YOU H34RD? 1 4M TH3 POL1C3 4ROUND H3R3!  
TG: oh damn  
TG: you may need to lock me up officer  
TG: you may even need to interrogate me  
GC: WH4T H4V3 YOU DON3 F13ND?  
TG: i have done the most heinous act  
TG: first degree sillyness  
GC: >:O 1T C4N'T B3! 1'M GONN4 H4V3 TO T4K3 YOU 1N!  
TG: no but officer you dont understand  
TG: i have a girlfriend  
TG: shell be crying her eyes out  
GC: SH3 C4N B41L YOU OUT ONC3 YOU'V3 B33N 1N CUSTODY!  
TG: but you see officer  
TG: i couldnt bare thinking of her teal tears running down her face  
TG: a girl that beautiful shouldnt be crying  
GC: OH? W3LL 1 SUPPOS3 TH4T'S R34SON4BL3, 1 COULD JUST R3STR41N 4ND 1NT3RROG4T3 YOU H3R3...  
TG: okay officer  
GC: OK... G3T UP! *PO1NTS 4T D4V3*  
TG: *gets up*  
GC: NOW... *LOOKS 4ROUND ROOM FOR H4NDCUFFS*  
TG: whats wrong officer?  
GC: 1 C4N'T S33M TO F1ND MY H4ND CUFFS...  
TG: thats not good  
TG: you should have those when dealing with a criminal  
GC: SHOOSH! 1 W1LL F1ND SOM3TH1NG 3LS3...  
TG: like what  
GC: *SPOTS SC4L3M4T3 1N TH3 CORN3R 4ND RUNS OV3R TO 1T, R3MOV1NG TH3 NOOS3 4ND W4LK1NG B4CK TO D4V3*  
GC: TH1S!  
TG: oh gosh youre going oldschool  
GC: H3Y 1T'S 4LL 1 H4V3! NOW S1T ON TH4T CH41R CR1M1N4L!  
TG: *sits in the chair*  
GC: OK! * GO3S 4ROUND B4CK OF CH41R 4ND B1NDS H4NDS TOG3TH3R W1TH TH3 ROP3* YOU C4NNOT 3SC4P3 NOW!  
TG: damn those are tight  
GC: NOW! *W4LKS 1N FRONT OF D4V3 4ND PROPS L3G UP ON TH3 CH41R, PUT1NG 4 H4ND ON H3R H1P* WH4T D1D YOU DO?  
TG: see  
TG: i was walking down the street  
TG: and i saw a dont step on the grass sign  
TG: so i danced on it  
GC: >:O HOW 3V1L!  
TG: then i screamed out "oppa gangnam style*  
GC: OH! HOW F1111333ND1SH!  
TG: yeah  
TG: and i was doing the macerena  
GC: OH MY! TH1S 1S TH3 WORST CR1M3 OF S1LLY N3SS ON3 COULD COMM1T!  
TG: i was even wearing a funny hat  
GC: 4 FUNNY H4T?!?!? *PR3T3NDS TO 4LMOST F41NT*  
TG: yes  
TG: it even had polka dots  
GC: STOP! NO MOR3! WHY WOULD YOU COMM1T SUCH 4 HORR1BL3 CR1M3?  
TG: for shits and giggles  
GC: NOOOO!!!!  
TG: yes  
TG: and i would do it again  
GC: 1'M 4FR41D TH1S B34UT1FUL G1RLFR13ND OF YOURS 1S NOT GO1NG TO S33 YOU FOR 4 LONG WH1L3! YOU MUST B3 LOCK3D UP!  
TG: but officer, in a twist of fate, the beautiful girlfriend is also the one who tied me to the chair  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] joined chat.  
GC: OH NO! TH3 JURY 1S SHOCK3D! >:O  
TG: damn straight they should be  
TG: hella huge plot twist  
GC: S1L3NC3! W3 MUST TH1NK OF 4 N3W PUN1SHM3NT!  
TG: *shuts up*  
GC: HMMM...  
GC: W3LL... HOW 4BOUT, TH3 CR1M1N4L MUST B3 BL1ND FOLD3D FOR ON3 HOUR!  
TG: oh no not that  
TG: anything but that!  
GC: OH Y3S! TH3N TH3 CR1M1N4L C4N 4LSO L34RN WH4T TH3 OFF1C3R GO3S THROUGH, 4ND 1T'LL B3 FUN ON BOTH P4RTS >;]  
TG: f-fine  
TG: punishement fits the crime  
GC: UM... DO YOU H4V3 4 BL1ND FOLD?  
TG: yeah, in my sylladex  
gallowsCalibrator's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] joined chat.  
GC: WH4T 4 STR4NG3 TH1NG TO H4V3 1N 4 SYLL4D3X  
TG: people keep putting shit in it when im asleep  
GC: OK, 1 B3TT3R UNT13 YOU TH3N  
TG: okay  
TG: anytime now then  
TG: starting to chafe  
GC: *GO3S B4CK 4ROUND 4ND UNT13S D4V3* SHUSH YOU >;]  
TG: okay officer  
GC: W3LL, G3T 1T OUT TH3N!  
TG: *pulls out blindfold*  
GC: *SN4TCH3S 1T* H3H3! * T13S 1T 4ROUND D4V3S H34D  
GC: *  
TG: officer, dont you think this crime is a bit over the top  
GC: WOULD YOU R4TH3R B3 LOCK3D UP?  
TG: n-no  
TG: pretty girlfriend remember  
GC: B3S1D3S... *CL1MBS ON TH3 B4CK OF TH3 CH41R 4ND K1SS3S D4V3 1N TH3 CH33K* 1T'S NOT JUST 4 PUN1SHM3NT  
TG: oh really now  
GC: YOU C4N'T S33 BUT 1'M W1GGL1NG MY 3Y3BROWS, Y3S R34LLY,  
TG: i had a feeling that was going on  
GC: WH4T W4S?  
TG: the eyebrow thing  
GC: OH H3H3H3...  
GC: SO WH4T SH4LL W3 DO BL1ND D4V3?  
TG: i dunno officer  
GC: *HUFFS* W3LL HOW 4BOUT W3 G3T OUT OF TH1S GODD4MN ROOM?  
TG: works for me  
TG: but youll need to be my seeing eye dog  
GC: *G3TS OFF CH41R 4ND H3LPS D4V3 UP, TH3N L34DS D4V3 OUT OF ROOM* WOOF WOOF  
TG: bark  
GC: COM3 ON D4V3! *GR4BS D4V3S H4ND 4ND L34DS D4V3 DOWN CORR1DOR B3FOR3 STOPP1NG*  
TG: why did we stop  
GC: ST4Y H3R3 D4V3, 1'LL B3 R1GHT B4CK!  
GC: *QU1CKLY D4SH3S OFF*  
TG: okay  
GC: *POK3S D4V3S CH33K* B444CK!  
TG: whats going on  
GC: DON'T WORRY! *L34DS D4V3 DOWN FURTH3R 4ND TO H3R R3SP1T3 BLOCK*  
TG: okay officer  
TG: youre not locking me up are you  
GC: NOW L3TS S33.. YOU COM3 OV3R H3R3 4ND S1T ON TH1S B3D! *L34DS D4V3 TO B3 4ND S1TS H1M DOWN*  
TG: okay i am curious where youre going with this  
GC: NOW L3TS S33 *OP3NS SOM3TH1NG 4ND T4K3S SOM3TH1NG OUT...* HMM TH1S ON3!  
TG: oh god terezi whats going on  
GC: H3H3! *SQU33Z3S D4V3'S CH33KS 4ND V1GOROUSLY 4PPL13S K4N4Y4S GR33N L1PST1CK TO H1S L1PS* JUST YOUR COLOUR!  
TG: wait what  
TG: did i feel something on my lips  
GC: 1'M GO1NG TO M4K3 YOU LOOK L1K3 4 G1RL D4V3! TH4T'S YOUR R34L PUN1SHM3NT!  
TG: well you better kiss me like i am one  
GC: *R34CH3S 1NTO K4N4Y4S M4K3 UP C4S3* OOH BR1GHT R3D BLUSH! *4PPL13S 1T TO D4V3'S CH33KS W1TH 4 M4K3 UP SPONG3*  
TG: damn the irony is abundant  
GC: H3H3, NOW! BL1NDFOLD OFF FOR TH3 3Y3 M4K3UP!  
TG: i better get my shades back  
GC: YOU W1LL! *4PPL13S TONS OF M4SC4R4 TO D4V3'S 3Y3L4SH3S*  
TG: oh god where did you get this idea  
GC: DON'T QU3ST1ON M3 D4V3 TH1S 1S FUN! NO 4 W1G! *SL1PS 4 BR1GHT BLU3 W1G 1NTO D4V3'S H34D* OOOH PR3TTY!  
TG: i had no idea you were into this terezi  
GC: OH... H3H3, ON3 MOR3 TH1NG... 4 FR1LLY DR3SS!  
TG: oh god this is going a little far  
gallowsCalibrator's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] joined chat.  
GC: NOW TH4T YOU'R3 NOT BL1NDFOLD3D YOU C4N P1CK! Y3LLOW OR P1NK? *HOLDS UP TWO 3QU4LLY HORR1F1C DR3SS3S*  
TG: yellow  
GC: Y3LLOW OR P1NK?  
TG: *grabs yellow and puts it on*  
GC: 3GG  
GC: HYD3  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] disconnected.  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] joined chat.  
TG: what?  
GC: P3RF3CT  
GC: >:]  
TG: okay officer, have i served my sentence?  
GC: JUST OOOOON3 MOR3 TH1NG! K1SS M3 M4N L4DY!  
TG: okay *kisses terezi passionately*  
GC: *WR4PS H4NDS 4ROUND D4V3S N3CK 4ND K1SS3S B4CK*  
TG: *hugs terezi tight*  
GC: MMMM TH4T GR33N L1PST1CK M4D3 YOUR L1PS T4ST3 B3TT3R  
TG: i hope it did  
TG: cause theres only so much of this kinda irony a dude can take  
GC: OK, YOUR S3NT3NC3 1S S3RV3D, YOU C4N GO FR33 NOW!  
TG: alright, i am gonnna get some sleep though terezi  
GC: GOODN1GHT D4V3  
TG: hey, are you ok now terezi  
GC: Y34H, YOU'V3 M4D3 M3 F33L B3TT3R >:]  
TG: glad to hear it *kisses her cheek before leaving*  
GC: *WH1SP3RS* BY3 D4V3

**Author's Note:**

> I of course didn't write this all, if the other person finds this and sees this please speak up!


End file.
